5.14.2014

tomorrow

Packing. There are suitcases piled by the front door, and clothes scattered across the floor of my bedroom. Thrown over the back of chairs. Wrinkling in the dryer. Tripping over toys, stepping on legos, packing the back of the van, loading instruments, suitcases packed with books (that one is mine), tubs of food, and craft supplies. This trip has been planned for months, but it seems like it has been dragged forward, ripped off the calendar, and thrown in my lap. Time has paused, and rushed forward at the same time. Nothing happens, but my days are busy, busy. Full of light flares, patches of broken sunlight on the carpet, songs hummed under my breath, laughter, stressed voices, the strumming of guitar strings, and the noise of life. Oh yes. Life has a noise. A vast, resplendent, whispering, flowing, wrinkled and mysterious noise.

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Little hands on my leg, damp hair tickling my cheek as Sydney climbs into my lap, eyes watching my fingers raptly as they clatter softly across the keyboard. A kiss on her head. She climbs out of my lap, and wanders into the kitchen, feet echoing. A memory. Anayah is asking her mommy for food. It's 9:32 pm. Their minds keep pace with their appetites, asking questions, learning silently, forever curious. It reminds me of yesterday, when I was the same way. I remember the way I felt when I look into their eyes. Little disappointments are devastating. Small things are exciting. Their minds know nothing more than the present. They don't worry. In a way, adults could learn many things from the innocence and simplicity of children.

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Split. Torn. Wondering. Dreaming. Wrinkled. Folded. Overlapping, intermingling. My brain attempts to reason with my heart, without success. Traveling. An adventure. It always is. Family. Challenging, tiring, rewarding. It always is. Leaving. Difficult, tearing, stirring, inspiring. But hard. My heart still lies in the rolling green hills of the East. It is wrapped around the thick trunks of oak trees, and pieces of it are sown alongside flower seeds that land in the rich hollows of land. But my home has always been in Arizona. In this house. In my room, with the white paint, and the knots falling out of wooden walls. In the words spoken around the table, woven in between the dusky grasses, golden yellow. It is heavy in the silent evenings, the wordless conversations. Home. I remind myself that home isn't a place. Home is found in the people that surround you; the ones you love.

Life is an voyage, friends. If we recognize the little things as adventures, learn to release the past without forgetting, and embrace the future (and change) with joy. So, here's to wrinkled clothes, and sunrises viewed through windshields. To cracker crumbs, and earplugs, and daisy chains, and books read 5 times over. I'm always open for adventures.

{all images freelensed. ;) oh, and posts will be intermittent for a while; i'll post when i can.}
xx.

8 comments:

  1. I love reading your posts Mikailah! You have quite the gift with writing down your thoughts! I love you and hope you have a wonderful trip! Xoxo

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  2. oh, my gosh. your free lensing skills!!! so jelly. I think I'm about ready to quite on photography. :P seriously, manual + major exposure were not working with me on the Florida trip. ugh. anyways, you are lovely and I pray you have a safe trip! love you oh, so much and can't wait to catch up really soon. xx || MH

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  3. "Oh yes. Life has a noise. A vast, resplendent, whispering, flowing, wrinkled and mysterious noise."


    oh my word i had goose bumps while i was reading this post. so, so much emotion.

    xx

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  4. Have a marvelous adventure, darling. And I can't wait to see all your beautiful photographs when you get back. (last year's ohio pictures were some of my favorites you've ever taken, just sayin'. :))

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  5. Your photography skills and writing skills are amazing. The second paragraph . . . wow. I was thinking about all that last night. I can't believe I can almost call myself an adult. It's a bit scary. But it's an adventure, too, like you said. And I hope you trip is fantabulous.

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  6. I love your photography skills, the pictures are amazing. I especially love the last one. I hope you have a good trip.
    Kelsi
    Messy Bits

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  7. everything about this is just beautiful... can't wait to see your posts again!
    xoxox

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  8. too beautiful for words.

    Sarah
    imsarahgrace.blogspot.com

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thanks for commenting, and sharing some love. ♥